50

My dad turned to me
in Shul on Shabbos morning
told me that man died;
the one who gave out candy
and set me up with his neice

I am so tired
Tired of disappointments
Ready to begin
I begin choosing wisely
Become less disapoonted

48

An elderly man
via his sister in law
gave me a number
No age and no location,
amorphous information

Traffic buzzes by
The ambulance sirens rail
People check their texts
They look up for the buses
Then down at their stupid phones

----------------

Not for my honor
Not for my father's honor
But for Your honor
Yonatan ben Uziel 
said it, meant it, and it worked

44-45

Freedom in freedom,

Is it the right way to go?

Wynton Marsalis shakes his head no

"No freedom in freedom," he says

"only freedom in structure"

It's de rigueur

Talmudic rabbis agree

This we must understand

In Egypt, Israel, any land

There is no free man

Without the Torah of G-d.

43

Structureless poems;

do they exist? he asks me.

I think of Wynton:

"There's no freedom in freedom,

only freedom in strucure."

42: Tanka of Shame

We can be convinced
and shamed into believing
that we are no good.
Those who made us feel that way
are mistaken... What a shame.